A Day In Shikamaru's Life
by HeiLong
Summary: The title says it all. Can you say lazy? Rated for mild language. R&R. slight ShikaIno. Constructive criticism welcomed and appreciated, flames laughed at. [oneshot] Story shortly before Overcast.


(A/N: I would like to thank everyone who reviewed my last fic. It's great to hear that my fic was sad enough to make everyone cry. Well, here's a much lighter one, in contrast to my angsty and/or sappy fics.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, its characters, or anything else besides this fic. I do not mean to offend women when referring to them as "onnas" or "women". I am not a chauvinist and I respect women. OK? OK! Olrayt! On with the fic!

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**A Day In Shikamaru's Life**

_I want to marry an average girl, not a beauty queen, but not a hag either. I want to settle down with her and have two kids, a girl first, then a boy. The girl will marry and move out while the boy will leave when he reaches working age. Then, I'll retire, playing Shogi and Go until I die before my wife._

Sigh.

The moment sunlight hit my eyes, I knew it was going to be a troublesome day. I planned to stay underneath the safety of the covers for the entire day when my mom suddenly barged into my room, yelling at me to get up and do something with my life today.

Sigh, how troublesome.

Not wanting to go through another tirade, I tuned her out and headed downstairs to grab a quick bite to eat before dragging my feet out the door, my mom's tuned out voice still going off behind me.

I planned to go cloud watching, since staying in bed has been crossed out of the list, when I was attacked by the most hyperactive and troublesome onna I have ever known. Yeah, Ino tackled me and started assaulting my auditory senses. She started babbling mindlessly how Uchiha glanced at her direction and all the usual crap about his ''smoldering hot looks". As always, I tuned her out and glared at the free clouds above with envy. Swimming lazily around the sky, they almost seem to be flaunting their freedom at me. Damn.

A few sentences into her noise barrage, Ino noticed I was spacing out. Needless to say, she got mad and started grabbing my shirt and lightly slapping me, yelling all the more. Kami-sama, why didn't You make me a cloud instead? Lazy, carefree, away from the troubles of the land... Noo, You had to make me suffer making me the favorite victim of this banshee. (I almost wonder whether this is an actual jutsu that she made up. It CAN be effective in combat, if you seriously think of it. Ah, women. Nothing but trouble.)

Still tuning her out, I sigh as I look at her. She's troublesome, but she's gorgeous as well. Those endless (and angry) cerulean eyes, the long golden hair, perfect skin, her tight, sexy body, those firm, ripe breasts– uh...I better stop.

A smirk escapes my bored, stoic expression as I reflect on how ironic it is that a hot, attractive woman like her could be so troublesome for me. I guess it comes in with the package. Unfortunately, this smirk did not escape Ino's beautiful eyes. Almost immediately, she switched from her sermon to interrogating me about the smirk and what it could mean, not even pausing for a breather.

"You know, Ino, for a pretty girl like you, you sure got a big mouth." I cut her off, smirking once again. That did it. Her face reddened, incensed at the insult (and flattered at the complement). Now even more riled up, she tried throwing a heavy punch at me, but her chakra-charged fist ended up hitting wood. She cried out in pain as splinters got under her skin and her bare knuckles slammed against the hard wood. Thus, in her pain and anger, she screamed out a "SHIIIIKAAMAAARUUUUU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

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After escaping the demoness using a Kawarimi No-Jutsu, I hid inside Chouji's house and played Go with him. "You were escaping from Ino again, weren't you?" he started, one hand on his bag of chips, the other setting down a stone. "Ah", I grunted, countering his move. I'm getting tired of her. Why does she get so worked up over everything? She just loves to bother me. "Maybe she likes you", Chouji replied, his mouth full, and his hand setting another stone for yet another offense. If I were eating something, I would have either choked on the food or spit it out. "The hell? Did I say that aloud?" A nod. "Che, well..." I scoffed, but trailed off, unable to say anything else. Yeah right. Her? It's too good to be true. As far as I'm concerned, it's just a one-sided love. She doesn't even see me as a human being. I almost lost the game because of what he said, which left me flustered and shaken. Almost. I slaughtered Chouji mercilessly and left quickly, eager to meet with the clouds once again.

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_That's a chicken...chasing a martial artist. There's a tank...parking next to the...toilet bowl. Oh, there's a tiger...jumping over a river._ Ahh...cloud watching sure is _way_ better than going through an onna's tirade. Sigh. Women are so troublesome... Can you imagine I had to pick a different hill almost every time I go cloud watching just to avoid getting spotted by Ino? At this rate, I have to start looking for more great cloud watching sites. And that means effort, which in turn means trouble. Haa...Mendouks- "SHIKA!" "Aa?" Sigh. Hello again. Her face blocked out my view of those blithe clouds. Her fury that she manifested earlier was now gone, disappointment now showing on her pretty face. 

"Didn't I startle you?"

"I could sense you a mile away."

"Then...you waited for me?"

"No, it was just too troublesome to run away from you."

Wrong thing to say.

"Whaaaat?"

Oh no. Not again. She went off on another tirade. I thought of sleeping out on her rants, but a trip to the hospital would be too troublesome. I looked through her and up at the free clouds above and just envied them.

"I wanted a simple wife, but damn, I'm in love with one of the most troublesome girls in the village," I mumble unconsciously at the clouds. As expected, it did not escape the attention of the kunoichi.

"What's that?" she asked, her tone softer and her face brightening a shade of red. Her clear blue eyes reflected surprise. I know she heard me, but just pretended not to hear.

Shit.

"Uh, I have to go now. I think I heard my mom calling me," I stammered before executing another Kawarimi No Jutsu and transporting my lazy self to my house's roof. Sigh. How troublesome. I have to escape that girl every single day of my life. Yeah, physically too. If I really wanted to hide, I would. I'm just doing a half-hearted job at that since it would take a lot of trouble. I run from her, but I also love being with her. Ah, you know what I mean. I laid back, hands on my head, and resumed my cloud watching. Now where was I? Ah, yes...oh, there's a 9 tailed fox swallowing a Konoha symbol- uh, let's move on to a next cloud...what the-? Ino's face? On the clouds? Argh! Can't she leave me alone for once?

I climbed down to my room and lay down on the bed. It's now afternoon, but I feel like it's bedtime already. Ino will come bursting through the doors in a few minutes, as always, and go on with another lecture. Why stay here then, knowing that this thing happens every day? You kidding? How can I resist hot Ino?

I still say it's troublesome though...


End file.
